Kitchen Wisdom

Some light kitchen humor for tax season - Martha Stewart has her way, Maxine (of Hallmark card fame) has a different approach....

Martha says: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine says: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete ' s sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!


Martha says: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine Says:Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.


Martha says: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won ' t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Maxine Says: Go to the bakery! Hell, they ' ll even decorate it for you!


Martha says: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it ' s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant ' fix-me-up.
Maxine Says:'If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that ' s too bad. Please recite with me the real woman ' s motto: ' I made it, you will eat it and I don ' t care how bad it tastes!


Martha says: 'Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine Says:Celery? Never heard of it!


Martha says: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine Says: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don ' t.


Martha says: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine Says:Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!


Martha says: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine Says:Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.


Martha says: Don ' t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine Says: Leftover wine???????????HELLO!!!!!!!

If you find yourself somewhere in the middle, or perhaps more Maxine than Martha, call a personal chef for dinner! I recommend Home Plate Advantage!